Managing emotions

What are emotions?

• Emotions are psychophysical reactions that energize us and lead to action or transformation.
• They are neither good nor bad, they are primitive responses meant to help us adapt and survive.

Two core functions of emotions

• Adaptive function: Emotions help us adjust to our environment and prepare for change or action.
• Social function: Emotions help us express what we feel and connect with others, building social bonds.

The 5 basic emotions and their survival roles

Emotion	Purpose	Description
Fear	Protection	Helps us escape, avoid, or confront danger. Signals a lack of resources or imbalance between a situation and our ability to face it.
Affection	Bonding	Drives connection with others, vital for survival and emotional growth.
Sadness	Withdrawal & reflection	Linked to loss; promotes introspection and personal reintegration.
Anger	Defense	Arises when needs or rights are violated; mobilizes energy for self-assertion or boundaries.
Joy	Vitalization	Fuels motivation, flexible thinking, and social connection. It’s the energy source for engagement and creativity.

The origin of emotions: Thought before feeling

Emotions are not caused by the situation itself, but by the interpretation and thoughts we have about the situation.These thoughts then lead to feelings, physical changes, and specific behaviors.

This model is essential for emotional intelligence:

• By shifting our thinking, we can shift our emotional response.
• Useful in conflict resolution, self-regulation, and professional decision-making.

Beliefs, self-esteem, and mindset

Limiting beliefs

Limiting beliefs are internalized assumptions that hinder our growth, such as:

• “I’m not good enough.”
• “I’ll never succeed at this.”
  

These beliefs block action and create fear and self-doubt.

Self-esteem

Self-esteem is the value we give ourselves. It impacts:

• Our confidence
• How we handle failure
• How we relate to others
  

Low self-esteem is often reinforced by limiting beliefs.

Mindset

Mindset is the collection of beliefs we hold about ourselves and the world.

• These beliefs drive our behavior and shape our results.
• What we hold as “true” leads us to act in certain ways—this becomes a self-fulfilling cycle.

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Self-sabotage and the ego's strategy

The ego sometimes works against us, especially when rooted in limiting beliefs.
This leads to self-sabotage, particularly in moments of change or decision-making, where fear of the unknown arises.

Four common forms of self-sabotage

• Not finishing things / Avoiding responsibility: Starting projects and abandoning them part-way. Fear of failure or not being “good enough.”
• Procrastination: Delaying action until the last moment. It becomes an excuse if the result isn’t good. Rooted in fear of outcome.
• Perfectionism: “If it’s not perfect, I won’t release it.” A way to avoid doing anything at all due to fear of failure or criticism.
• Making excuses: “I don’t have the time.” “It’s not the right moment.” These are often fear-based justifications.

Managing the fear of failure

Here’s how to confront fear and move forward:

• Realistically assess risks: Explore different scenarios. Be prepared.
• Reconnect with your purpose: Purpose is the fuel that keeps you moving.
• Shift your mindset about failure:
  

Adopt the view that “failure” is a learning process, not a final outcome.
Create a mantra: “This is just another chance to try again.”

• Work on your inner dialogue:
  

Notice your internal thoughts ("I should...", "I have to...").
Become your own observer and challenge negative scripts.

• Use your social intelligence:
  

Learn from others’ successes and mistakes. Grow from shared experiences.

What can we do practically?

• Acknowledge and accept the emotion: Don’t deny it, use it to take action and take responsibility.
• Observe the emotion: Ask: “Where is this coming from?” and “What is it trying to tell me?”
• Clarify your definition of success: Redefine success if needed. What does your success look like?
• Believe in your capacity: Trust that you can achieve it. Give yourself permission to move forward.